Another Ride!

First and foremost!! I want to thank each of you for praying, offering your support and just being there for us! It has been an emotional and exhausting few weeks but we made it this far thanks to all of you! THANK YOU! Hugs and kisses for everyone! My words will never be enough to express my appreciation!

Here we are, September 18th and 1:00 has passed. Honestly, I feel we are still in the same position as we where before 1:00.

Today was a busy day! We had Elena’s birthday, her class celebration, her school pictures, my exam, my biopsy results and two little girls with fevers!! Yes, all in a day and Elena did have a GREAT birthday!!

I did very well on my exam and my second class was short, thus I made it to my appointment with plenty of time to spare. I’m not sure that was a good thing, all the waiting, all the thoughts, all the fear…but it was worth the wait. We heard some promising news.

Here’s what they said:

My biopsy results were not a definite “yes it’s cancer.” (Yes, another time, I’m still a question mark!) Rather, it said “the cells where atypical and liposarcoma was favorable.” (I suppose my 13 samples just weren’t enough!) Hmm, not sure how to handle that. I heard “sarcoma!” In other words, I heard CANCER! However, the surgeon said if it is indeed liposarcoma, it was a low grade sarcoma. He said he likes to divide sarcomas in two grades, “low” (they would remove it and probably just watch “it”…not sure I like that, how do you “watch” cancer!”) … and “high” (it would require chemotherapy, maybe I do like the "watch!"lol!.) More than likely, this would be low. (That was the good news in all this!)... This is my hope that still remains. Although, I still have hope it may not be liposarcoma…(Probably is, I just don’t really want to believe I am that REAL special person we talked about in another blog!) lol! However, he does believe the tumor is homogeneous. In other words, the tissues they did extract are probably the same throughout the tumor. They probably won’t come back after surgery and say another area was high grade. Once again, that “probably” is spoken again! Mike sums it up this way: 2% chance it’s high grade. 10% chance it’s not sarcoma. 88% chance it is liposarcoma. You know these engineers; they always have to look at it differently than the rest of the world! Lol, hahaha~ I think I have accepted 95% it's LOW grade liposarcoma, 3% not, 2% high grade sarcoma. (This will keep me from having to feel these feelings of "sarcoma" again.)

I suppose all along deep down in my chubby, but happy belly, I never believed this to be cancer. So naturally, I wasn’t ecstatic with this news. I really thought I’d hear it was lipoma, a confirmation I have too much fat, lol!, and off we’d go to remove it. This wasn’t the case; I was very disappointed to say the least. It took some time and thought to accept the results and see the bright side; it was probably a low grade sarcoma. Which sounds more like, you’ll survive this, you’ll see your girls grow up, you’ll get your wishes…to just live! That’s where the feeling turns happy again and we take the next step.

Surgery! Surgery is needed and they will then send the tumor out…with a lot of good pathologists, maybe they’ll finally confirm something!! Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, Sept. 26th at 7:00 am! (Hold that thought)

I also have a chest x-ray scheduled for Thursday, the 20th. This will tell them if any cancer has spread to the lungs. Sarcoma usually spreads there first.

However!!! We are going to try a different route. I feel the doctors are still going in with a blindfold. They’re messin’ with something they REALLY don’t know if it’s cancer or not. So how do you operate? I was told if it was benign, then they remove just the tumor. If it was a high grade, they remove a lot of my muscle surrounding the tumor. If it was low grade, then they remove a little more than the tumor. BUT they still don’t know. So how much do they remove? What if they remove a little and find out it is high grade; I have to go back for another surgery? I’m then dealing with the possibility of spreading the cancer by cutting too close. This is the same reason we did a biopsy, to know how to go about surgery!

So many questions, not enough answers! So I decided; I am going to see if I can get my second opinion from MD Anderson. MD Anderson requests you allow one week in Houston for testing. Thus, I’d like to go Oct. 8th-12th. The kids are on Fall Break at school and we can all go to Houston for a week “vacation.” I’m sure Mike can work from the Houston plant (Won't they love me, bringing the Director Of Sales to the forefront of operations! haha!) when I don’t have tests scheduled. This will also be an opportunity for the girls and I to shop!! When I do have tests, he can watch the kids. I just can’t see going into this without the facts or the unknown. Maybe that’s what we end up doing but I have to know…we did it right the first time!! I read on every site, in every book; if you have sarcoma, your odds of curing it and living longer are far greater (sometimes as high as 40% greater) in a sarcoma center. However, if they come back and say the same thing my Memphis Team said, we’ll have surgery here and call it a day! I believe they said the next available surgery date is Oct. 22nd in Memphis. I’m going to call and reschedule this tomorrow. (I think the truth is, I am not canceling any of Elena's school events I get to attend to in Sept.! We all know I love my social life! I can't wait to meet other moms & dads at the school!) I’ve already sent a request for a patient referral to MD Anderson.

Don’t mark your calendars yet, we all know I like to juggle my appointments!

Once again, we’ll update you more as we know more. Please keep praying and offering your help, I promise, I will take you up on it! :>) Mike and I may even get out of town for a real vacation if you keep insisting! Lol!!

Thanks for being on our team!!