When The Going Get Tough, The Tough Get Going!

OK! I finally slept Saturday night! I’ve been running on empty since I arrived to Michigan! I always count on my infusion days to make up sleep but those were taken away this cycle! I never told you guys about my roommate in the hospital. Well, the new “ living with cancer” me will just say, she kept me up all night. :>) Catch me on a bad day, I’ll share the details! Haha!

So I wake up Sunday to a lot of snow. Like, really….A LOT! Of course or just my luck, I have no boots, no shovel and definitely no sand. I do have some mini gloves, a jacket and a scraper. So I start scraping my windows, brushing the snow off and warming the car. Ahhh, at last…I can sit again! Luggage in, license and boarding pass to Memphis, apartment locked. I put my economy rental car in reverse and all I get is…vrrrooom, vrrrooom! Hmmm….I get out and guess what? I’m stuck! Yes, stuck. I haven’t even moved! The apartment complex was sooooo kind to plow the snow, they buried our cars! How did they think we’d get to the nicely plowed surfaces if they shoved all the snow behind our cars! Yes, I’m from Michigan but I left before I drove. So…no I’m not the snow driving expert but I am better than some people in Memphis. Haha!

Well, I sit there thinking and thinking. What was that Emad told me about my rental. Like it was front wheel drive, no rear wheel drive…whatever it was, do what? Chemo brain in action again. Damn that chemo! Lol! So I try again. Then I try to rock the thing. No luck. It’s now 9 ish AM and my flight’s at noon. Thirty minutes away on a normal day, this is a real bad snow storm day! I rock it again. Just some rockin’ goin’ on! So I realize I need to move the snow from behind my back tires because this baby wasn’t going to jump it! So there I am calf deep snow with my little brush moving a lot of snow when I fall! Yes, I fall. And I can’t even tell you why I fell! But I get up and I start dropping “F Bombs” as Mike would say. I’m now crying, fed up and cussing! I start yelling at God, honestly…”No more! What the hell? Give us a break! Really, a break!” I’m just going on and on, hitting the snow with my scraper! Lol! I know these neighbors are looking out their windows cracking up at this crazy bald woman (my hat fell in the snow when I fell) who’s yelling at God with black tears running down her face! (Of all days, I decide to wear make-up)Lol!

Today, I thank God it’s a rental. Come the end of January, they’ll never see me again! Hahha! But, I make my flight and not before a few more times of getting stuck in the snow! (God’s way of cussing back at me!) Lol!

I didn’t realize how much I missed the girls until I got home. They were just wakening from their naps and full of hugs and kisses! Maybe because my cousin sent home teddy bears with candy canes for them! Lol! Carl and Dottie where here! (My father and mother in law) They were full of gifts too! Dottie went around West Palm and found over a dozen of Angels for me…Lord knows I need them! They are all so unique and beautiful! You’ll see these in my house well past Christmas! The house was so tidy, between Dottie and Aunt Gloria, they had all my laundry washed and ironed and the house was shining!

I’ve been feeling pretty good this cycle. I wrote myself a letter before this cycle, making myself write many times, “I will not go down!” So I’ve been determined to stick to those words. Monday and Tuesday were pretty good days considering. I didn’t expect Monday to be bad since my cycle was delayed a day. However, when Tuesday appeared promising, I really thought…I’m not going down! But Tuesday night came and I crashed hard! Mike had to wake me up Wednesday morning and help me downstairs. So I thought, Wednesday must be the tough day but even this day was tolerable. I even drove to pick up Elena, definitely in pain and belly aches but I made it! Well, I had my worst night of the cycle Wednesday. Body aches, sweats, headache and nausea. BUT…it was just a night! Go Eva! I did NOT go down! Haha! However, I still have body aches and nausea but that’s a breeze compared to other cycles. I definitely believe I’m one bad axx Chemo Girl! Haha! Lol! Jk! Maybe I’m just used to it! Thank God it’s almost over…a few more days and I’ll be on the upswing!! Yaaa!

I wish I could say the same for my dad. He continues to struggle. More problems. At some point this week the doctors called to say he had pancreatitis, his new fight. This was supposed to be a big problem, greater than the punctured lung. Well now he has fluid on the brain and may need burrs to help drain it. Yes, the possibility of another surgery. We’ll know more Monday, Christmas Eve. There’s so much more going on with him, I just don’t want to write them in fear I’d have it all wrong! I can’t shake the chemo brain and it’s frustrating. I feel so bad for him. Honestly, I still can’t believe this is all happening! The ruptured brain aneurysm was hard to accept. Now all the other problems mask the aneurysm. All we can do is continue to pray and ask God to give us the strength to accept the “OK” in his fight.

Friday, I will start packing us for Michigan, one last time! We will spend Christmas visiting with my dad and keeping the spirit alive with the kids. I plan on staying in Michigan with the kids until my surgery, January 8th and with a lot of luck, prayers and fast healing, I will return around January 22nd or a few days before. Mike will return from Michigan the 26th of Dec. to work and fly back just in time for surgery.

Thank you for supporting our family and always being there for us!! Remember, you are part of the winning team that won the first round…12 weeks of a Chemo life! We could not have done it without everyone’s help, prayers and support! Thank you and God Bless!

(I posted two other blogs with older dates as well...scroll down)